


Cut Out All The Ropes And Let Me Fall

by Sxymami0909



Series: Ghosts [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Character Death, Derek-centric, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Friendship/Love, Gen, Magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-10
Updated: 2014-09-10
Packaged: 2018-02-16 21:25:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2284986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sxymami0909/pseuds/Sxymami0909
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the final battle with Peter, the only thing he can see is her lifeless body lying in the grass and the sting of failure swimming in his gut. And in that moment, he understood what life had been life for Lydia the past year without Allison and Stiles. He understood her inconsolable pain. So, he let himself fall beside her, and even with all the pain he’d endured in the past Derek Hale knew this was the moment that would break him. (This story will not make sense unless you've read <b><a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/1670303">Drove Through Ghosts To Get Here</a></b>. This is a scene from <b><a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/1670303/chapters/4212429">Chapter 27</a></b> written from Derek's POV.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cut Out All The Ropes And Let Me Fall

**Author's Note:**

> Request: from Anonymous on Tumblr - I was wondering if you would consider writing Derek's POV of the scene in Drove Through Ghosts, where Lydia dies?

_“LYDIA!!!”_

The scream was ear-piercing, laced with dread and completely panic inducing. And then he felt it, like a rip tide, a cord being pulled tight and snapping. Derek whirled around taking his eyes off Peter, bypassing the sight of Stiles falling to the ground, sobbing and dry heaving, nails clawing into the dirt. No, they kept going until he caught the sight of red hair spread out against the backdrop of green grass.

“No,” the whispered words came from Scott. Derek heard him yell something to Isaac, but his brain couldn’t process it. He felt his body moving and then he was running away from the fight, hands clenched at his side as his heavy booted feet hit the ground with loud thuds. Everything was moving slowly, too slowly.

He ran passed Scott and Stiles only coming to a stop when he was directly in front of her body. Derek stared down at Lydia’s dull eyes and everything around him disappeared. The pack was fighting all around him, but the only thing he could see was her lifeless body lying in the grass, the sting of failure swimming in his gut. And in that moment, he understood what life had been like for Lydia the past year without Allison and Stiles. He understood her inconsolable pain.

So, Derek let himself fall beside her, knees hitting the grass covered dirt with a heavy thud and even with all the pain he’d endured in the past Derek Hale knew this was the moment that would break him. His hands shook as he reached out to her not sure where to put them, not sure what to do. “This isn’t happening,” his voice was filled with pain as he mumbled to himself. He leaned over her body, his hand finally settling on her face cupping her cheek.

His eyes filled with moisture and he felt an uncontrollable urge to scream, to let out a howl and release the pressure building in his chest. But he didn’t. Tears dropped from his eyes hitting the black fabric of her dress. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered, choking on his own words. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not to Lydia. He was supposed to protect her, be there when she needed him.

She was supposed to figure her abilities out, get into an amazing college and grow up to be even more remarkable than she currently was. Derek’s jaw clenched, tears staining his cheeks as he reached out with his free hand and hesitantly brushed her eyes closed. His body felt heavy as he kneeled beside her, the fight draining from him. When things had gotten bad, when the daevas had entered her dreams…he’d been afraid then, the first stirrings of inadequacy filling him.

He should have known then, but he’d held out hope that things were different. That this time he’d be enough to protect the people he cared about. And god dammit, he cared about Lydia. He had tried not to. He tried keeping her at arm’s length and now he understood why. As mature as Lydia was, as cutting as she was kind, strong as she was weak, Lydia was very much an innocent…Like Paige.

Derek bent down further gripping her arm gently, guilt building in his chest. He hadn’t realized it until he saw her body on the ground. But Lydia reminded him of Paige. It was why he could never say no to her, why their bond was so strong. She reminded him of the girl he loved and he desperately wanted to protect her the way he’d never been able to protect Paige. And he’d failed…again. Like he always did.

Derek felt the heat of a hand on his shoulder and then Scott’s voice broke through the fog in his head.

“We need to go. Can you,” Scott’s chest tightened as he motioned towards Lydia, a lump forming in his throat as he glanced down at Lydia’s lifeless body. “He’s never going to forgive himself.” He whispered.

Derek looked up at him with tear-stained eyes. He wasn’t the only one who was never going to forgive himself. “Yeah,” he whispered back, rubbing a hand over his face. “I’ve got her.” He listened as Scott’s footsteps disappeared into the distance. He heard Kira shift dragging Malia along with her as Cora and Isaac stayed behind. Isaac was talking most likely on the phone to Deaton as Derek continued to stare at Lydia. “Don’t call Chris,” he spoke gruffly when Isaac hung up the phone.

“But Scott said,”

Derek shook his head, “I don’t care. Chris deserves to hear this in person from me. I’ll handle it.” He said his tone leaving no room for argument. He swallowed hard and then slid his hands beneath Lydia lifting her from the grass and standing in one smooth motion. Her head dipped all the way back, her arms flopping to the sides and a strangled noise left Derek’s throat, tears once again filling his eyes.

Isaac stepped forward, “I can help,” he said reaching out, but before he could get close he saw Derek tense.

He turned to Isaac, shifting, eyes flashing blue as his canines elongated, a threatening growl tearing from his throat as he jerked Lydia’s body to his chest. “I don’t need your help. _I’ve_ got her.”

Cora’s chest tightened as she stared at her brother, moisture filling her gaze as she rested a hand on Isaac’s arm. She could smell his pain, his guilt…his love for the dead girl in his arms. And in that moment she felt terrible for the way things had gone down with Lydia and for giving her brother such a hard time over the past year. “Okay, that’s fine,” she told him speaking in a calming voice. “Isaac isn’t going to take her from you Derek.” Her words were quiet. “Why don’t you let us have the keys so we can drive back to Deaton’s and she doesn’t have to be alone?”

Derek swallowed hard, his features going back to normal as he nodded, his arms tightening around Lydia as he tucked her body into his. “The keys are in my pocket.”

Cora shifted forward carefully aware of the way her brother watched her movements almost like he didn’t trust her not to rip the redhead out of his arms. Her heart clenched as she slipped her hand into his pocket and grabbed the keys quickly. “We should go.” She said once they were in her hand.

Derek nodded and turned heading back towards the path where Scott had gone. Cora watched him go and she had to hold back the tears. “He’s not going to be okay,” she whispered a hint of fear in her voice.

Isaac swallowed heavily and pressed a hand to the small of Cora’s back. “We’ll make sure he’s okay Cora, I promise.” He told her guilt settling in his chest as well. He should have helped more, paid attention to what was happening. What would Allison think? Would she hate him for not protecting Lydia better? He shouldn’t have made sure she was safe. Lydia didn’t deserve to die like this. Not when things were finally starting to go right. His eyes burned and he pressed against Cora’s back, “We should go; we don’t want Derek to have to wait.”

She wiped furiously at her eyes and nodded. “You’re right.” Cora moved forward her body stiff. She couldn’t believe her uncle had done all of this, that he’d been willing to kill _Derek_. Everything was all fucked up and Cora had no idea how they were going to come back from this.

______

 

Derek sat in the back of Deaton’s veterinary office, away from the pack and beside Lydia’s body. His back was to everyone else, his head resting in his hands as he tried to figure out how this had happened. Stiles was still out cold, Malia wouldn’t shut up with her threats and the pain in the room was tangible.

All he wanted was to restart the day. Do it all over. All Derek wanted was Lydia alive. He didn’t care that his uncle was dead, Peter deserved it after everything. His heartbeat sped up as another silent tear streamed down his face. Lydia had deserved better than this. What were they supposed to do without her? What was _he_ supposed to do without her? And what about Stiles?

Speaking of Stiles, Derek felt him wake up before he heard his voice. He felt the hopelessness, the anger, the pain…the guilt. It mirrored his own despite the fact that they loved Lydia in very different ways; she was as much a part of his world as she was of Stiles’.

When Stiles finally did start talking Derek ignored it until he heard nine words that changed everything.

“Because I’m gonna need it to bring Lydia back.” Stiles said matter-of-factly.

Derek turned around finally facing the group his eyes studying Stiles as Scott and Deaton spoke up against the plan. But he didn’t care. He felt hope filling his chest since the first time he’d seen her dead body lying on the ground. He couldn’t stop the words from leaving his mouth then. “It’s possible, right?” Derek spoke up quietly. “Peter came back.”

They were talking again, but Derek didn’t care. All that mattered was that for the first time since Stiles came back they were on the same page. He met Stiles’ gaze and a look of understanding passed between them. Screw balance, Lydia would always be more important than balance and everything else thrown together. He and Stiles were in this together even if no one else helped. They would bring her back because neither one of them could live in a world without her and they both understood and accepted that. They were going to bring Lydia back, and he wasn’t leaving that clinic until they did, no matter what.


End file.
